This post is more about me than you to be fair. Not a great deal changes with a newborn in the first week. You're eating and sleeping at regular(ish) intervals. You had put on another ounce by your 5-day check up which is brill! Oh yeah, and your cord dropped off today leaving behind an adorable little 'outie' belly button. Other than that, there is little else to report. But this week has definitely been a roller coaster of mixed emotions for mummy.
Bringing you into the world was such an elating feeling.
Watching your brother lovingly interact with you over this past week has been so heart warming. But at the same time has brought with it so much guilt that I haven't been able to pay him the same amount of attention that he has been used to prior to you coming into our lives.
Getting back into the swing of night feeds was always going to be tiring. Doing it with a toddler around, even more so.
I spent so much time whining on about you taking your sweet time about coming out and now you have I feel sad that I'm no longer pregnant - not that you're not totally amazing. I love you more than you will ever realise until you have a child of your own - but you're my last baby. All those amazing pregnancy moments are gone forever. That feeling of birthing your baby and having them handed to you, seeing what they look like, holding them for the first time. Gone.
And just like that, already a week of your life has gone! It's all happening too fast. Witnessing all your firsts is going to be so bittersweet because they're all going to be my lasts.
I try to make sure I take pictures of you every day because I never want to forget any of this.
Look at how much hair you've got!
Look at how tiny your feet are...
I want to soak up as much of you as I can. I want to embrace & savour it all. The good times and the hard times. Because d'you know what, even when you won't stop crying or you won't sleep or you won't let me put you down... I just need to ride it out and tell myself it's only a small part of it. And I wouldn't wish any of it away because there will come a time where I look back - even on the difficult parts - and wish I could do it all over again......
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